My little girl was 7 weeks old on Sunday.  Those 7 weeks have passed very quickly in some respects but it seems like a lifetime ago in others.  I’m going to write more than one post because it’ll be an epic to end all epics otherwise! I’ll start with what happened directly after I gave birth…

After everyone left I was taken onto a ward.  I obviously couldn’t feel my lower half or walk which was very strange!  Jessica was put next to me in one of the plastic boxes on wheels & every time she cried I had to ring for a midwife!  I just kept staring at her unable to believe she was here & she was mine.

I tried to breastfeed her but she wouldn’t latch on.  The midwives told me not to worry & that they would help me in the morning.  I don’t think I slept much which after being up all weekend & having a traumatic birth wasn’t ideal.  I was brought breakfast in bed then it was time to try & walk.  I’d been dreading getting the feeling back in my nether regions for obvious reasons!  I felt like I’d been kicked really hard & had to walk very slowly in a rather funny way!  The midwives looked after Jessica while I had my first shower.  I know it sounds dramatic but it really took it out of me!  By the time I went back to my bed I was really shaky & weak.  Jessica chose then to do the famous black tar poo but I struggled to hunch over the cot & clean her so the midwife did it for me!

The other girls on the ward were really quiet.  I kept trying to catch their eye & smile but they both kept themselves well & truly to themselves.  It’s a good job the midwives were all nice & chatty!  I think I spent most of the Monday (in between visits) trying to breastfeed.  I was beyond tired & to say I looked like hell is an understatement!  I had to put some make up on for visiting time or people would have worried!  The breastfeeding wasn’t going well at all, Jessica just wouldn’t latch on.  She had her blood sugars checked to make sure they weren’t too low & they were OK but after trying to feed her all night, the midwives suggested that she have a bottle just to keep her going.  They took her & fed her & then looked after her while I got a bit of much needed sleep. 

Tuesday was a lovely day.   I felt a bit more human & Jessica had her first bath.  I was too nervous to do it so a lovely midwife did it whilst another equally lovely midwife hand expressed me!  She was going to help me try & get Jessica latched on but said if we expressed some off to give her in the meantime at least I could stop worrying she hadn’t had anything.  She said I had enough colostrum to feed the entire floor which was pleasing.  We got a couple of syringes full which she drank in 2 seconds flat!

Once Jessica was all nice & clean she had her pic taken by the lady from Bounty.  She was so well behaved & cute & I was so proud.  Andy arrived just in time to catch it being done, it was a lovely experience.  When I look at the pic now I can’t believe how much she’s changed already!

After the photo session I set about trying to breastfeed once again.  After nearly 2 days of really hard work & having my norks handled by pratically every midwife in the hospital, Jessica finally latched on.  It was an amazing moment & after worrying that I wouldn’t like/enjoy breastfeeding, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.  I love feeding my little girl.

I could have gone home that evening but was worried in case Jessica didn’t continue to feed so decided to stay another night.  The quiet girls had gone by then & another girl had come in.  She was very talkative but her little boy was born early & was in special care with dodgy lungs.  She was crying a lot & I felt so sorry for her.  It made me feel guilty that I had my baby with me but at the same time even more grateful than ever that she was OK. 

On Wednesday September 8th it was time to take our baby home.  I felt really nervous about leaving my little bubble at the hospital.  The food was crap & I was woken far too early but I felt safe & secure in there with the midwives just feet away.  I couldn’t have asked for better care, they were all amazing & gave me so much help & support with the breastfeeding.  I worried I wouldn’t cope without them especially when I couldn’t even work out the car seat lol. 

I’d imagined the moment I walked out of the hospital with my baby so many times.  Jessica was really chilled & it was a nice sunny day so it was a lovely little moment.  I was so on edge all the way back & watching other drivers like a hawk!  My Step Dad drove nice & careful bless him.  The next post will be all about our arrival home.  Until then, here’s a couple of pics: